More Than Enough!

This week has been a little tougher than I think I'd like to admit. Monday I fought it and had the lovely company of my mom and then yesterday I found that ball in my throat, that one you can't swallow...you just wait until the right moment hits and somehow you release things you've stored up for a bit.

All morning long I went through the motions, going through my new routines I've started building (well kinda) and thinking I felt just a tad off. I knew I didn't want to be by myself, so luckily I had made plans to visit my college roomie and her sweet little ones. I drove out to Gig Harbor and was listening to a mixed CD I had made a couple years ago...then the tears began. The second you realize whatever it is the lyrics are saying...that, that right there is what I am feeling. I felt like they may never stop.

The hurt, the heartache, the anger, that feeling like my purpose was stolen...all of it came rushing back. I was mad...I thought I had already gotten through this phase. Like I was wise and so optimistic that I had changed the direction of my thoughts. Sadly, I found  myself still grieving, wondering how long this mood would last.

Then I walked into Vinnie's house to be greeted by a comforting embrace and two little ones ready to play. SNAP there went the mood. I still felt weepy, but for a different reason. I am loved, there is no doubt about it. It was time to remember that there is always a purpose in life. Every second we can choose to do something to make it better, make someone's day better and I wasn't going to let another second go by.

I spent the afternoon jumping on the bed, tickling little Nat and Miles and letting their sweet belly laughs warm my soul. We ran through the sprinkler, ate and amazing lunch Vinnie made, took naps and drank iced tea.



Things work out if you let them. There is a time to process things, but then if you allow, God puts people in your lives that know exactly what you need in those rough moments. I needed to just be a kid. I needed to know that they were so happy I was there. That I was enough, that I am enough.



I've been reading quotes and verses a lot the last couple weeks and this one resonated more than all of them this week:

I am Enough
I am full of sparkle & compassion.
I genuinely want to make the World a better place.
I love hard. I practice kindness.
I am not afraid of the truth.
I am loyal, adventurous, supportive & surprising,
I am a woman. I am enough.
I make mistakes, but I own them and learn from them.
Sometimes I make a lot of mistakes.
-Molly Mahar

As I sit here today on July 1st...I can look back and smile. I know my journey is just getting started. I've found out a lot about myself in the last couple weeks. I've found a new love and desire to be by myself, allow myself to reflect and allow God to work in me. I cherish and long for my companionship with my babe, family and friends, but this is a big step for me. To be okay by myself. Because if I can't be enough for myself, I can't be enough...but I know I am!